Day 11: Too Close to Home

I'm am sitting here in tears reading the news tonight. It's just a little too close to home. If you didn't hear there was a shooting at the Clackamas Town Center right outside of Portland earlier this afternoon. You see, that's the safe part I town. It's a middle class neighborhood where things like this don't go down. It's where I worked, eaten at, shopped at, taken my kids to to play and just get out of the house. Before moving to SW Portland we lived five minutes away. I thought about taking the kids to the east side today to get out of the house and run some errands. Errands that would have included shopping. Scares me to think of the "what ifs". But I wasn't there. I was home, husbandless, tending to kids that are recovering from little colds. Joel had a long day of work meetings today. But a lot of people I know we're there.

I read a Facebook post from one of our friends from church not to go to Clackamas Town Center cause of a shooting. She works at Nordstroms and was in the basement of their store safe. Then post after post of other people I know and care about at the mall or just left the mall or near the mall. One of the scariest ones is a family that we love from our previous church actually saw the gunman walk in as they were leaving. Her report is in the Oregonian. Friends with kids there.... I can't even imagine what this traumatic experience would do to a kid. It shakes me up and I didn't even experience it first hand.

All these reports of people saying things like "l will never shop there any more" makes me want to tell them they are dumb. Yes, you're scared. Yes, safety is one of our first needs. But reality is THIS CAN HAPPEN ANYWHERE ANYTIME.We live in a very BROKEN MESSED UP WORLD. It's dumb cause if we said we won't go to a place we didn't think was safe we wouldn't go to school, to work, to the mall, maybe even to our own homes. You are not 100% safe anywhere any more. People are just getting bolder and crazier and more senseless. Maybe for a time you won't go back just to heal and work through your fears. My heart breaks for the families that were there and of the ones who died. Including the shooter's family. I am sure he has a mother out there and a father out there grieving and guilt stricken. I cant imagine the "what ifs" going through their heads. Sad.

This random senseless act of violence makes me cling to Jesus even more today. Makes me hold my husband and kids a little closer tonight. Makes me thankful for each day and reminds me that my God is bigger and I can't live in fear. More people need Jesus... More people need hope in something bigger than themselves or they wouldn't act out in such a hopeless way hurting many.... But that we would love many. Time is limited on this earth... We need to Live Love. Praying for you all near and far that are affected by this act of violence, especially those who have to return to work at the mall over the weekend: that peace and grace fill your hearts.