Maternity leave has been an interesting adventure. When I had Kaden I only took four weeks off... we had a change in bosses and needed to get back for the transition, I was the only income so my maternity pay was out and needed to pay the bills and Joel was at home so we knew Kaden would be in good hands. With Addysen Joel has a job...actually two jobs. Kaden has preschool to make it to and my paycheck wouldn't put that huge of a dent on us.... it really is the insurance I am there for. I had all these grand schemes of what to do on maternity leave... projects of cleaning, organizing, packing and teaching Kaden. But reality is all I do is feed and nurse, change diapers, put the kiddo to sleep and do laundry.... and try to make sure I am eating. (That's usually an afterthought. LOL!) At first I was going to only take 6-8 weeks off... it's hitting 6 weeks this week and I am no where ready emotionally, physically or intellectually ready to get into the grind of work again. I do miss being "productive" in the worldly sense, but I have enjoyed being at home and caring for Kaden and Addysen. Motherhood isn't glorious by no means... and I am not even doing the really "domestic" duties such as cooking and cleaning. But I will be taking the 12 weeks off and figuring it out from there....
I love how God prepares the soul for such a time as this. I think God has prepared me to be at home at this time in many ways... as some of you know, I had an ectopic pregnancy that put me out for three weeks...three weeks of dealing with my shadow self of having the need to be needed. Three weeks of letting others take care of me. Three weeks of looking at what my true identity is. Then a few months later getting a job that took me to only 30 hours of work with more time at home during the day. I learned that I can be a mom... a mom that isn't the sole breadwinner. (That's all I know, my mom was a workaholic and wasn't at home much). I learned that God is in control of my "to-do lists" and that people are more important than my tasks. I can care and nurture 24-7 and not have my identity wrapped up in a job title or even the title of being a mom. There are definite rough days and I have a special bond with Kaden even though I was a working mom. But I am thoroughly enjoying trying to balance life right now with two kids... I am very thankful for a super supportive husband that is always helpful and caring and nurturing and playful and a hard worker! We are praying through next steps of our jobs and careers... and would love some extra prayers our way.
Right now the daily schedule is still forming and getting more and more into a routine. I am very thankful for Kaden and his helpful heart. I am also very thankful for Addysen and her calm spirit. My only wish is a nanny from the hours of six am until about nine am so I can sleep in a bit longer! hahha! We are very thankful for an amazing community of friends and family who have fed us these last two months and loved on our family in many ways!
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